Ways of Excellence

Strategies and tip for living an excellent life.

Strategies for dealing with rejection

We have all experienced rejection in one way or another. It may be from a job you had applied for, from a group of friends, at home among other things.

The truth about rejection is this: Rejection is part of our life’s journey and it hurts.

It does not matter what form of rejection you have experienced, the fact of the matter is that rejection hurts and if you put together the times you have been rejected, it’s enough to stop you from trying to put yourself out there for new experiences. Dealing with rejection can also lead to health conditions such as anxiety and depression.

Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD., the author of Bouncing Back from Rejection urges anyone who is going through rejection to build the resilience they need in order to get back on their feet after going through rejection.

It is not all bad news. There are ways and strategies that can help you deal with rejection. When one is rejected, it is so easy to believe that this is the end of your life. It is not. Actually, experiencing rejection can mold you into becoming a better person in life. If you have experienced rejection either from family members, your colleagues, work, or even close friends, here are ways and strategies that can help you bounce back:

  • Your WHY must be strong enough

Understand that everyone in life has been rejected at one point or another. No matter how many rejections you have had to endure, keep pushing through because tomorrow or the day after tomorrow might be your lucky day. The motive behind why you are doing a particular thing should motivate you to keep on pushing in order to achieve your goals.

As I write this, I am in the middle of launching my first book. The journey has been far from easy, and I have experienced a few rejections along the way. However, I haven’t given up because my why is strong enough and therefore I have to keep on going and pushing through the rejections. I have also experienced lots of successes and YES(s) along the way!

  • Do not internalize

When you are rejected, it is very easy for you to start having thoughts like I am not enough, I am less experienced or skilled than the other person among other self-diminishing thoughts. Instead of leaning into such thoughts, focus your strength on ways that can counter those negative thoughts. Affirmation is a good way to help you counter such diminishing thoughts.

It is very important to have positive affirmations that you reach for whenever you find yourself in difficult situations. You should have a list of positive sayings that you assert and daily. For instance, instead of internalizing how you are not enough, you can counter this with affirmations such as I  am valuable, I add great value to the world and I am a bright light wherever I go. That may not have been the right opportunity for me and I am going to keep going until I find the right one.

To add on that Becker –Phelps asserts that “don’t just say these positive affirmations, but think about what makes you, you.” By holding on to these positive self-affirmations you will be able to feel stronger hence giving you motivation to approach each day with confidence.

  • Do not take it personal

We tend to put the blame on ourselves especially if things do not work out as planned. Focusing on that is more of digging yourself deeper into the situation hence making it difficult for you to think your way out of the situation, or come up with alternative strategies, or even look for other options to solve the problem at hand. Do your best not to take rejection as a direct attack on who you are.

Try channeling your energy on the positive side instead of dwelling on the negative side of the experience. Look at the experience objectively in order for you to keep moving on, as well as come up with ways that may be of help in the future in case you find yourself in the same or similar situation.

  • Re-strategize

If you have faced repeated rejection, it may be time to start to look and think outside the box. Here is what I mean by that:

When the 2009 recession hit, it severely impacted the financial services sector. At that time, I was working in that industry so I ended up becoming jobless. I was also heavily pregnant with my second child at the time. After my entire department was laid off, I kept re-applying for different roles in the same financial services industry. Keep in mind that the 2009 recession massively hit the sector hard and therefore this led to very limited to no job opportunities in that sector then. Having a lot of experience in the financial services industry blinded me from realizing that I could still look for a job opportunity in other sectors. I eventually found a new position in a different industry, but it took such a long time as I kept my search limited to just the financial services sector that I knew very well. So yes re-strategizing might be the answer to ending your repeated rejections.

Think things through and ask yourself “what other options might be available”?

  • Get moving

When I say get moving I literally mean that. You should move. Human beings have happy hormones such as dopamine and serotonin which help to promote positive feelings that include happiness and pleasure. If you are dealing with the effects of rejections, do move by maybe taking a walk to help release those mood-lifting happy hormones. You can also do stationary exercises and by doing so you will be boosting your happy hormones.

You are much bigger and much stronger than any rejection you have experienced or will experience. As long as you have breath in your lungs, it means that your purpose on this planet is not done. Keep hoping that you will get that YES and keep doing your part.

Be sure to check out and pick up a copy of my new book – Joab King David’s Top General. Essential Lessons on Character today.

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